refinement + reflection

I’m very really been struggling lately. Life is hard. People are mean and not having friends close by is difficult. My bucket has been empty and no matter how hard I try to fill it up it just seems to stay dry. But God has still been good. He’s been teaching me to pray continuously through the day and invite Jesus along with me. So I’m reminded of his grace constantly. Which, has been something I’ve been trying to do for like 3 years now but it somehow always slips my mind and never becomes a habit. This past month has been so draining that God has been using my circumstances to remind me to lean on him in all things. Because my worst days are the days that are full of me. My worst days I forget to pray. My worst days I don’t rely on his strength I rely on my own. My worst days are when I get angry. And My worst days are the days I get stressed and overwhelmed instead of casting my cares on him. But it’s our worst days that people seem to remember us for. It’s on our worst days that unbelievers see God as judgement instead of love. And they see us for ourself insets of the redemption of Christ. But God still sees us in our hardships. God sees our worst days and remembers our best. God sees our weakness and offers us strength. And God remembers us when we forget about him.

On Saturday, April 12th these women came to  Bluebird to get a coffee. That week had been particularly rough for me. I have a lot of things on my plate right now, with the artisan market and preparing to go to Mozambique 🇲🇿 along with 2 other projects I’m working, I just have a lot going on. And, I know I did that to myself and I’m so excited for all the things but that doesn’t make my plate any less full. I had prayed that morning for God to lift my spirit up for him to make himself evident in my life. And then these 2 cutie women from TN got a waved at me through the window after we closed. We had had a short conversation when I served them other than that I really knew nothing about them. I went and talked to them and they asked if there was anything I needed prayer for. They had gotten a coffee during the mid morning and then went and got some lunch and God told them to come ask me if I needed prayer. I broke down in tears because I have never felt so seen by God. I told them how my emotions and my life has been in shambles lately. And how it’s hard to pick yourself back up. I had to go in and finished my closing duties especially because it was Saturday and so the ladies waited for me and said “we have some other people we want you to meet too!! Take your time, we will wait for you”

We somehow managed to close 30 minutes earlier than we normally do and when I came outside there were 6 women waiting for me. They spoke life back in to my soul. We talked forever. I found out one girl was from South Africa, a place that is so close to my heart. And she spoke over my life things that she had no idea I’ve even been working on. She saw the vision of my life that could have only been given by God. Those projects I’ve been working on. Those ones I’ve told barely anyone about. She blessed every detail of it without me ever telling her a single word about it. I began to tell her my vision and my plans that I felt God place on my life and God reminded me of his grace. He reminded me again of my prayer to him. He reminded me that he sees us. He sees our desires and our needs and our wants and when we ask he answers.

I was so blessed by those 6 women. They prayed over me and over my life and let me tell you I needed that. But let me also tell you this. When the Lord blesses you and affirms your vision for his kingdom the enemy tries even harder to make you drown